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Welcome to Litquake, San Francisco’s literary festival, now in our 17th year. Festival dates are October 7-15, 2016. Events are all-ages unless noted otherwise. Book sales are offered when and where appropriate. Events without ticket reservations are first-come first served. Click the phone icon to the right below, to download our new mobile app version!

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Saturday, October 8 • 7:30pm - 9:30pm
i thought it sucked: One-Star Reviews of Best-Loved Books

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All-star Bay Area writers, readers, and performers present dramatic readings of one-star reviews that trash the world’s most treasured literary masterpieces. Thanks to online communities like Amazon and Yelp, not only is everyone a critic, their snarky, ill-founded comments can now live on forever. Tonight we celebrate these critics by showcasing their most timeless reviews in all their spiteful glory. Relish in these misguided and often perplexing takedowns of acclaimed novels and poetry. $5-10 sliding scale

Moderators/Hosts
avatar for Lauren Parker

Lauren Parker

Lauren Parker is a writer and podcaster based in Oakland. She's been published in Ravishly, Harlot Magazine, the Tusk, The Bold Italic, the Toast, and Loose Lips the erotic fan fiction anthology. She rants about feminism on medium and has a Goosebumps podcast called Listener Beware. She owns a cat named Zelda who has a Ron Swanson face and she loves her mother very much.

Participants
avatar for Kelly Anneken

Kelly Anneken

Kelly Anneken is what happens when Kim Kardashian looks like Bette Midler and tweets like Roseanne. This Oakland-based funny person and all-around swell gal performs standup comedy and is a regular at the Punch Line San Francisco, Cobb’s and Rooster T. Feathers. Kelly has appeared at Iowa’s Green Gravel Comedy Festival and Boston’s Women in Comedy Festival. She has shared a stage with Jim Gaffigan and Anthony Jeselnik at... Read More →
avatar for Chris Collision

Chris Collision

Co-Host, I Don't Even Own a Television
Collision is a writer, bike rider, HEAVY TUNES enthusiast, and worker in Oakland, California. He likes his girlfriend Noodles, coffee, beer, bikes, cities, mezcal, loud music, Star Trek, (doing) the Jumble, (using) the text editor VIM, the politics of liberation, hockey, basketball, and almost nothing else. (He is enthusiastic about bad movies.) He would like to see you in the streets, beneath which is the beach.
avatar for J. W. Friedman

J. W. Friedman

Co-Host / Producer, I Don't Even Own a Television
I'm one of the two hosts of a comedy podcast about bad books called "I Don't Even Own a Television". When I'm not forcing myself to plow through a horrible novel about internet ephemera, I can also be found performing or producing hip-hop music, or having very deep thoughts about 1990's hardcore and professional wrestling.
avatar for Janine Kovac

Janine Kovac

Talent Wrangler, Litquake
Janine Kovac has never ever given a book a one-star review. Because, you know, karma. Her book, BRAIN CHANGER: A Mother's Guide to Cognitive Science, is forthcoming in the fall of 2016. She likes chocolate.
avatar for Jamie L. Real

Jamie L. Real

Managing Director, Litquake
Jamie L. Real is a writer, editor, and traveler from the Bay Area. She’s lived in Hungary and Poland as an English teacher and New Zealand as a bookseller and publishing assistant. She was raised on Patsy Cline, home-cooked food, and Stephen King novels. She is currently a freelance editor for Avalon Travel and Managing Director of Litquake. She is partial to coke-cherry-coke-cherry Slurpees.
avatar for Na'amen Tilahun

Na'amen Tilahun

Na'amen Gobert Tilahun has spent most of his life shuttling between San Francisco and Los Angeles. He writes many different things that have appeared in/on io9.com, Fantasy Magazine, Queers Dig Time Lords, Stone Telling, Full of Crows, The Big Click, faggot dinosaur, Spelling the Hours, Eleven Eleven and others. He was recently named one of 13 Bay Area Writers to Watch/Read in 2016 by 7X7 magazine and his debut novel, a second-world epic/urban... Read More →



Saturday October 8, 2016 7:30pm - 9:30pm
Elbo Room 647 Valencia St. San Francisco, CA

Attendees (62)